it's so confusing when you have NO IDEA what the other party is thinking. it's killing me, urgh.

have decided to do some blogging, since i've nothing better to do. I cannot sleep, oh well.

based on my title, i believe most of you will know that i'm upset now.. I've got no elsewhere to talk bout my feelings. each time, i talk bout my family.. i cannot help it, but feel broken inside somehow. i did not give any allowance to my mum this month, sucks right? & i know that she's pissed off over this matter. but, i cannot be bothered. seriously. i forgot what happened in the beginning of the month, i think it was the amount of blogshopping i've done & she is like mad at me? i'm so sad & broken now. my parents went to genting like week, i was left home alone with my sister & brother. depressing to say, none of them gave a damn to me. i was home on wednesday night at midnight, feeling upset (work-related issues) & hungry. my brother came home with his big bag of mcdonalds, thinking that he or rather my sister would probably offer me some, but no.. I think too much. they were eating happily & chatting. when my brother went out to throw the rubbish, i thought i should break the ice & i informed her that i'm leaving home at 5am the next day. there isn't a fucking response from her, no response, NOT AT ALL. she can at least acknowledge, right? but, she just stared at the door, waiting for my brother. i could feel my heart break, literally. that feeling is totally unbearable & i cried to sleep on that cold & rainy night.. i do blame myself for being a bitch at home most of time & here i'm, getting all the consequences whenever i'm home. regret? i guess so.